Jeffrey Meranto’s My Best Worst Day Part 6

Skinny Skinny

Skinny Skinny

As one might imagine there are large men in prison. Men who’ve spent years exercising, lifting weights, and taking whatever type of steroid they can get their hands on. But inch for inch ‘Skinny Skinny’ was the largest man I ever saw in prison. Skinny Skinny stood a whisper over 5 foot tall and weighed just under 400 lbs. After I got to know him I asked how he got the name, ‘Skinny Skinny.’

“My Mom was from Mexico,” Skinny Skinny said to me, “she used to watch those TV preachers all day long. Once she sent in a few dollars for some book about ‘Creating Your Own Destiny.’ It said in the book you needed to do something called a ‘Positive Confession’ for whatever you wanted in life. That and send in your best ‘Love Offering’ so they could agree with you.”

“So she sent in a couple pesos and made her positive confession that she would go to America. It happened. No running the border either, she got a visa man. She was legit! So she sent in dollars this time and made her positive confession for a car. She got a Cadillac! When she had me she wanted a skinny kid, so she sent in her money and every day she would make her positive confession over me, ‘Skinny Skinny’. This went on every day my whole life, and the kids in my neighborhood just kinda’ picked it up, I guess.”

Not being able to keep my mouth shut I asked, “So what happened with you bro, I mean you’re a pretty big guy. . ?”

“You know I asked my Mom that the last time she came for a visit. She told me she tried an experiment. She sent in half of what would’ve been her best love offering and would give two times the positive confession to see if it worked out. So instead of sending in $50.00 she sent in $25.00 and instead of claiming ‘Skinny’ over me, she would claim, ‘Skinny Skinny.’ ”

After a long pause I said, “Sorry it didn’t work out, bro.”

“That’s ok, my Mom told me that she never really liked skinny kids anyway.”